The drive home was quiet. She maintained silence but in her heart she was unhappy.
Things had to change. The roots of discontentment were running deeper in her heart as the years passed by. The smallest thing could trigger that heavy feeling in her heart. A glance toward someone she didn't even know could send her mind spinning. Why did she have to live in a world so chained down with unhappiness.
Sunny Hills was a quaint community. Paul and Rachel had lived in their new home for five years. It was a small home but it was new and she filled it with beauty. The girls would be three next year. Three years old. The twins had filled the dead space in their home with laughter and joy. Paul and Rachel would celebrate their ninth anniversary next February.
Rachel stayed home with Kate and Sarah. She was a leader in the church and well respected among her friends. From the outside she was put together. She was a leader and portrayed a smile to everyone she met. The darkness she carried inside was a secret no one would have guessed.
The Hensley's moved to Sunny Hills when Tim got a new job at the construction company. Tim and Mary Beth moved into a little rent house when they moved to town last Fall. Their boys were older and very well behaved. Tim and Mary Beth lived on very little means and yet every time Rachel spent time with Mary Beth there was something very different about her heart. Mary Beth never complained or spoke and unkind word toward anyone.
Rachel would often wonder how this family could live on so little yet stay so thankful and content. She for one was never satisfied. You could ask her husband Paul about that.
The coffee pot clicked on. Six a.m already she thought as she climbed out of bed. January had been cold and snowy this year. After she got the fire going, Rachel grabbed her Bible and coffee and sat down in her favorite chair. The house was quiet while everyone slept. As she sat in the little living room she began to pray.
"LORD, I am tired. I am tired of being unhappy. Is there really a secret to being content and if there is how do I find it? If you are listening to me can you help me? I want to be different. Is there a thread that could run deeper in my life so my joy would not be stolen from me so easily?" She sat quietly looking into the roar of the fire. Not much changed as she sat in the darkness of morning. If Rachel knew one thing though she knew that God was faithful. She knew that He knew her heart. He alone knew the depth of her sin. How it had invaded every relationship she had. And He alone would be the one who could begin to untangle the mess of her heart.
Thursday, June 16, 2011
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1 comment:
truly beautiful...thanks for letting us share in your gift of words.
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